


I Knew Him

by Zenappa



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Captain America: The Winter Soldier Spoilers, Drama, Emotional Hurt, Gen, Marvel Universe, Sorry Not Sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-31
Updated: 2016-05-15
Packaged: 2018-03-04 10:56:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 10,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3065246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zenappa/pseuds/Zenappa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Winter Soldier was meant to be a killing machine, no feelings, no emotions, nothing. No one expected something like this to happen. No one expected her to turn up where she was. No one expected this assassin to recognize the man she was hired to kill. She couldn't remember his name, she couldn't remember her own name, all she could remember was that she knew him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Nick Fury

**Author's Note:**

> Just a little idea that I swear I came up with first:) While it may seem that it's just a recap of The Winter Soldier movie, I promise you it's not. As the chapters continue on, it will make more sense and I can't wait to see what everyone thinks. So please feel free to let me know what you think:) I always love opinions, thoughts, predictions - plus I've heard there's free cookies if you hit the kudos button;)

**Chapter One**

"Get me off the grid!"

Director Fury was currently pissed. After being constantly shot at by his own damn people, he was being chased, still, with virtually nowhere to go. He knew he should have picked a smaller car... He clenched the steering wheel tightly as he shouted at the AI in his car but it stopped responding a while ago. He spun around the corner, clenching his teeth together and focusing on where the hell he could go. He couldn't return to any of the SHIELD bases, not when he didn't even know what was going to happen next. He didn't trust anyone.

As he rounded the corner, his car almost spun out from underneath him and he gripped the siding to stay in place. This couldn't be happening. Who would want him dead anyway? Upon regaining control of the car, he hissed under his breath before swerving the car yet again to avoid more gunfire to his left. This was really getting old.

He had to bash a couple of heads in and explode a few cars before he was able to finally lose the "police officers" that were pursuing him. But what he saw in front of him was far worse when his eyesight came back into focus.

There was a figure down the road, standing in the middle of the street without a care in the world. Fury knew that something bad was going to happen way before the figure lifted up its arm and fired some sort of explosive at the car. He felt himself being lifted up in the car and smashed back on the ground. The numbness was beginning to sink in and for the first time in a long time, he felt panicked.

It was several moments before he moved quickly. He just lay there on the ground with the car collapsing on top of him, just staring at this new figure. Was he behind it all? Long brown hair. Metal arm. Slim physique. Black mask. He couldn't be sure who or what this new figure was but it was about to kill him if he didn't act fast.

It was several moments before Fury finally felt safe underground. Those electric weapons certainly came in handy, especially for creating rather large holes in the ground. A perfect escape route. It took him a minute to get his mind in order before he had to seriously figure out where to go.

And there was only one person he truly almost trusted right now. The Captain.

He crawled his way to the apartment and broke in easily, after picking the lock and removing all evidence of a break in. Biting his lip, he collapsed on the chair by the record player and waited.

If SHIELD was really behind all of this and wanted to kill him, then he had to play dead. But who? That was the bigger question. Who had compromised SHIELD so deeply that his men were willing to kill the damn director? He couldn't be quite sure but he knew that if the truly good agents were to survive, they had to be suspicious of everyone. Even their closest friends.

Upon turning on the record player, he had to bite his lip and sigh softly. This was going to be a long ride to freedom but it was one that he was willing to take. He heard the door open several minutes later and he leaned back further. Sure enough, right on cue, Captain America himself came bursting through the door, shield in tow. Fury could only give a small smile as he relaxed at the sight of him.

There wasn't much he could do except to tell the Captain via sight and not sound everything he knew. SHIELD COMPROMISED, he wrote. EARS EVERYWHERE. Luckily for them both, the Captain took the hint. He would have said more as soon as he stood up but then three bullets passed through his body and he collapsed to the ground.

The last thing he heard was the sound of the door bursting open and Sharon Carter's voice flooding through his head. He gripped the Captain's hand, handing him the flash drive that contained everything he had discovered on the Lemurian Star, thanks to Agent Romanoff.

"Don't trust anyone."


	2. Steve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Fury lies dying on the ground in the tiny apartment, Steve vaguely hears Sharon calling out if anyone has an eye on the shooter. He barely hesitates before chasing after the assassin that was doing a damn good job for trying to wipe someone off the grid. Unfortunately, Captain America may be too late to save everyone this time.

**Chapter Two**

"Does anyone have an eye on the shooter?"

The words repeated over and over in Steve's head before he finally got to his feet, hearing the footsteps run across the roof across the way. He wasn't even sure of the shooter's location but he wasn't going to lose this chance. Not again.

Grabbing his shield, he darted through the walls, smashing aside walls and desks as he kept one eye on the shooter across the way. Glimpsing a flash of silver just ahead of him, he kept on the shooter's trail, refusing to let this mysterious figure get away. He had already experienced too much death without resolution in his lifetime without adding this one to his list. No, Steve wasn't going to give up this time.

He pushed further and further for his body to run faster as he accidentally slammed into a wall and kept running down the adjacent hallway. Finally, he caught sight of the shooter jumping to the roof just below the two of them from the window and he picked up speed, tearing through the glass as if it was nothing at all. He threw his shield to stop the shooter but then something happened.

Something that had never happened before. Something that he was never expecting. Something that caused him to hesitate for the rest of this so-called mission.

The shooter turned around at the last minute and caught the shield right before it was about to slam into its eyes. Steve stood there in complete shock, meeting the dark eyes of the shooter and memorizing the figure's features. This was the image of an assassin, a dark ghost, and he wasn't going to let him get away with this no matter what. By the time he got his bearings back, his own shield was being flown back into his stomach and he felt himself flying backwards. Groaning slightly, he got to his feet, running to the edge of the building where he had last seen the shooter. But the mysterious figure had disappeared.

* * *

Steve heard the car door slam from outside the window but he couldn't tear his eyes away from the gruesome scene in front of him. Nick Fury, the strongest man that he knew, was lying there in front of him with no chance of surviving. He clenched his jaw, cursing himself for letting the shooter escape and kept replaying that moment over and over again in his head.

Those dark eyes. The wounded scratched up face. The determination. The curved suit fit perfectly to its body. The attention that it gave to its missions. The long brown hair. The metal arm.

It was hard for anyone to identify who the shooter was. Hell, Steve didn't even know if it was male or female. It was a robot. A killing machine with one completed mission... well almost completed. It wasn't looking good.

He heard the door open behind him as Natasha came running in to stand beside him nervously. He wasn't even able to tear his gaze away at all. It was that painful. And judging by the tears welling up in the red-head's eyes, she felt the same way. What the hell was he going to do now?

Shaking his head, he completed droned everything out except for the excessive shouting that the surgeons were doing. No, it wasn't looking good at all.

"Did you identify the shooter?" came her soft words from beside him but still, his eyes stayed glued to the scene before him.

"Strong. Fast. Had a metal arm."

Another figure approached and Steve only had to give her a side glance before he realized that it was Maria. She had come on Fury's orders but now that he was... almost gone, she had no idea why he had called her.

"Ballistics came back," was all she managed to say without breaking down. He meant a lot to everyone and his loss would affect everyone greatly. Steve wasn't an idiot. "Three bullets, clean cut straight through."

Natasha glanced over at the deputy SHIELD director and gave her a curious look. "Soviet made?"

Maria nodded with a frown, "Yeah." No one said anything else but Steve knew that things were going to be different now. Everyone's head was turning and putting together pieces and he knew he would be kept in the dark just like always.

He opened his mouth to say something but then the surgeons started moving and shouting loudly at one another. And that was the moment that not only did Steve know it was the end, but that he would do everything in his power to hunt down this assassin and bring Fury to justice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise you, the changes are coming soon. But until then, I just enjoy writing broken Steve... a lot. It's a real huge problem, just ask thestarkinator, who happens to be my lovely beta in case you all were wondering. So if you find a problem, go beat her up;)
> 
> ANYWAY. Some people were fortunate enough to hit the kudos button, sending showers of balloons careening on top of their heads. Right. Right. Free parties for all! (but only if you comment or give kudos of course) <3


	3. Steve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve, full of anguish over Fury's death, goes back to the hospital to try and figure out who is trying to end his own life, along with Fury's. Everyone was compromised. However, at the hospital, he discovers a piece of information that will aid his thirst for revenge.

**Chapter Three**

Steve was on the run. He had nowhere else to go and he was alone, completely alone. He had gotten rid of the only evidence that could have saved him... well not exactly saved him but at least confirmed his thoughts. Fury was right. Everyone was now an enemy.

He stood in front of the vending machine where he had deposited that one thing that he thought would destroy him. Blinded by his own anger, he wanted out of whatever Fury wanted him in. He didn't want to deal with this anymore. He didn't want to see the truth behind the lies he was force fed his entire "new" life. But the master of deception had been right all along.

Steve was ashamed to be considered who he was.

Staring numbly at the glass and the empty tray where he had thrown the drive of secrets and uncoverings, he had no idea where he wanted to go from here. He tugged his hood tighter over his head and bit his lip. What was he going to do? The man with a plan suddenly was planless.

That is, until he heard the pop of a bubble and the familiar red hair appear from behind him.

He spun around instantly, catching Natasha's eye in the glass and grabbed her arm forcefully. After the ordeal he had just been through, he didn't want to consider anyone he had thought was his friend an enemy... but he couldn't be too sure. Not anymore.

She seemed surprised as if she hadn't heard what happened but he had seen her and her lies in action before. As much as he hated to admit it, he had to consider everyone an enemy. Trust no one.

From the instantly panicked look on her face when he shared the information about SHIELD being compromised, he still wasn't entirely convinced that he could trust her but it was a start. And he was relieved.

"I know who killed Fury."

It was funny how that one statement could earn the attention of anyone. He was dead set on finding this shooter and making sure that the machine of sorts never forget what it did. He wouldn't kill him, no he wouldn't stoop to his level, but he was going to make damn well sure that this assassin knew who it was answering to. Captain America wouldn't rest.

Steve looked from side to side before he gave Natasha his undivided attention. She raised a careful eyebrow as his eyes practically begged her to explain.

"Most intelligence agencies don't believe that this assassin exists but those that do call her the Winter Soldier."

As if the name wasn't ominous enough, add in a metal arm and darkened eyes and this... shooter was going to prove more trouble than it was all worth.

Steve almost tuned Natasha all the way out as she went on to explain how she discovered the identity of this Winter Soldier. Something about a mission gone wrong and the Soldier shooting Soviet bullets straight through her and bikinis. He barely even knew what either of them were saying.

All he was focused on was this woman who had messed with the wrong superhero. Whoever this Winter Soldier was, she was going to pay for what she had done.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the Winter Soldier is introduced, well at least the mention of her. I can't wait to post more of this story, I'm actually in love with it. Thank you to everyone who gave kudos! *throws balloons at you* You guys are the best. Want balloons of your own? Just hit that tiny little button at the bottom of the screen - here's a hint: it makes me write faster ;)


	4. Pierce

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexander Pierce thought he had everything figured out. He didn't think he would have to plan on Captain America being a lot smarter than he gave him credit for. Enter the exact woman he needs.

**Chapter Four**

Alexander Pierce was a man of many traits and characteristics. Being scared was not one of these. It simply was not in his nature. Conclusions could be made otherwise, but of course no one knew the man better than himself. He knew what he was capable of and what his plans were. He knew everything about himself. He always had a plan, not unlike that star spangled man, but his were so flawless that they were destined to soar and succeed. He knew that the end was coming near. And boy was he prepared.

The only hiccup in the plan itself was the fact that Rogers had escaped and found refuge with Romanoff. He hadn't planned on the captain surviving the attack, not in the slightest, so that came as a surprise to him. But it didn't matter. He simply had to make another call.

That call led to the very same encounter that was occurring at this moment.

Pierce was walking around the corner into the kitchen of his Washington, D.C. home when he froze, meeting a pair of dark eyes at the table. He stared back for several minutes. Not a word or movement was passed between them for a solid thirty seconds as they seized each other up.

And then. "Do you want some milk?"

It was so casual, so timed and so perfect that anyone watching would have thought Pierce was walking into a timed planned meeting. No one would know that this intruder wasn't actually supposed to be there. Like mentioned before, being afraid was simply not in Pierce's nature. And it wouldn't be, not even at the end.

In silence, Pierce poured himself a glass of milk and sauntered over to the table, dismissing his cleaning lady from the other room and staring back at the intruder. They stayed like that for several moments as if they were old friends who had turned to be strangers.

And then Pierce spoke, sipping his glass of milk and only daring to glance away from the dark eyes for a moment. "The timetable has moved," he said with conviction shining on his face.

He had not been expecting the Captain to get in his way so badly... nor his red-headed friend. And so, he needed them to be eliminated... and what better way to do that than the Winter Soldier herself.

The Winter Soldier sat across from him, not moving a muscle and simply staring at her latest employer without any emotions. She didn't have any to give and besides, she was an assassin and this is what she did. Targets were just that: targets. Nothing more, nothing less. If she had ever known them, she didn't remember.

Pierce started to fill her in on the details but then broke up as the cleaning lady re-entered the house. She rounded the corner and Pierce winced. Casualties.

"Oh, I wish you would have knocked," he said with a slight shake of his head before he picked up his gun laying on the kitchen table and fired two bullets in her stomach. As she collapsed dead on the ground, the Winter Soldier stayed still without a word.

Pierce watched her with a mocked sad expression. "That's a shame," he turned back to the Winter Soldier. "She was a good maid." He polished off his glass of milk and got to his feet, tucking his gun into his back pocket of his jeans. He gestured for the Winter Soldier to do the same and she obliged right on cue. She really was the best assassin around. Almost like a machine.

"Clean up this mess and then we'll talk details in the morning," came Pierce's last claim before he trudged up the stairs to his room.

This was going to be perfect. He had read the Winter Soldier's profile, a perk of being a head of SHIELD. He hadn't thought about it before but this was going to be so poetic. Laughing to himself, he got himself into his bed with a smile on his face. And he got the best night sleep he had had in quite some time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yessss the elimination call. This part was so intense in the movie holy crap I peed my pants. Even though I was calling Pierce since the beginning, it still made me gasp. And now with the Winter Soldier and writing it again, it just makes me so happy. So if you enjoyed it as much as I did, leave a comment or hit that kudos button, you know you want to ;) *throws balloons at everyone who did so far* See, there is a reward.


	5. Steve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Steve and Natasha find the abandoned SSR-SHIELD headquarters, they find that it may not be as unoccupied as they may think. Steve, on the other hand, learns that a secret has been kept from him, one that may shatter him.

** Chapter Five**

Steve waited patiently or impatiently outside the compound of his old stomping grounds as Natasha walked around with the flash drive in her hand. She was trying to pick up the signal with no luck. He was barely even paying attention to whatever she was doing however. He was too busy staring at the pole in front of him. Memories played across his brain and he stood completely still, not even moving a muscle. Giving a small smile at the image of his younger self, he had to tear himself away before he drowned in his own memories. It wouldn't be the first time.

"There's nothing here," Natasha mumbled, adding something about the signal coming from a remote router or something along those lines. He still didn't understand modern day technology as well as others.

But something caught Steve's eye and he blocked out everything else that she was saying. He may have trusted her but it was only to an extent. He had to focus on his own mission first before he had time to worry about others. If worst came to worst, he would save her but he couldn't be too careful. There was no such thing. He walked over to the entrance to what looked like a weapons cellar, only this wasn't there before. This shouldn't even be here technically.

It took them a few minutes to break inside but once they headed down those steps and saw the giant SHIELD logo plastered on the wall, they knew that they were in the right place. Heaving a sigh, they walked together slowly through the place, stopping in the first room.

Natasha made some comment about how this was the place that SHIELD was started but now... It had obviously been used as something else. Taken advantage of. But as soon as she started talking, Steve wished she had stopped. He froze as he caught sight of a picture hanging in the wall. His breath caught in his throat and he forced himself to look away.

"Howard Stark," Natasha said, glancing at the two pictures on the wall. She recognized the dark-haired man almost instantly because of his son but she tilted her head to one side as she glanced at the second picture. Don't say it. Don't say it. Steve squeezed his eyes shut. "Who's the girl?"

Dammit.

He didn't even answer, just walked away, leaving the picture of Peggy behind.

Visiting her on a weekly basis was painful, especially through her memory loss which was slowly deteriorating her body. He would just start to think that things were getting better and that he could help her regain her strength and she would cough, ending things abruptly. But she was still and always will be his best girl and he wasn't about to give up on her. Ever.

Shaking his head from those thoughts, they headed into the not-so-secret elevator and sauntered into the largest mainframe that Steve had laid his eyes on. The technology looked like something Howard would have created except for the one place to plug the flash drive in. As Natasha obliged, he had the sneaky feeling like this was going to end badly.

He wasn't wrong.

Everything seemed to light up at once and switch itself on which made the duo wary enough. But when a green computer screen directly in front of them popped to life with what looked like a floating head, things became even more shifty. Something wasn't right here. Things went from bad to worse as the computer person began speaking, first identifying who they were through what seemed to be a camera and then revealing himself to be none other than Zola, a German scientist working for HYDRA under Red Skull. Someone that Steve never thought he would hear from again.

The longer the now computerized doctor spoke, the more suspicious and concerned Steve became. And that was never a good thing.

According to Zola, SHIELD had been infiltrated by HYDRA remains long after Steve had been frozen over. Peggy and Howard were walking straight into a trap and everyone knew it except for themselves. Cut off one head and two more grow back... They weren't kidding. From the looks of things, it seemed that there were more HYDRA agents than SHIELD around. And suddenly, everything was strangely starting to make sense. Why Fury was dead. Why Pierce had threatened him. Why the SHIELD agency wanted him dead. It all led back to the same place over and over again. HYDRA.

It had been from the beginning when Steve was first getting into his original war and it was still happening today despite his attempts. He died for nothing.

"Has no one discovered this?"

Zola laughed his typical sinister chuckle, "Accidents happen." Pictures and photographs of Fury's elimination appeared on the screen, causing Natasha to clench her fists in rage beside him. A newspaper clipping from 1991 appeared next, talking about the tragic death of Howard and Maria Stark in a car accident. A car accident. Of course. When someone crossed HYDRA, they didn't win. They were eliminated from the equation all together.

Mashing his teeth together, Steve felt anger boiling up in the pit of his stomach and pulled out his handgun, shooting the screen and causing it to turn black. Moments later however, Zola powered back up on the adjacent computer window. "As I was saying-"

Steve shook his head, an idea popping in his head. He had way too many questions and he figured their time was running out to get them all answered. But he blurted out what was on his mind before he could stop anything else. "What about Peggy? Agent Carter?"

"Steve."

Natasha's warning voice came from beside him and he narrowed his eyes, whipping his head around to face her. She knew. She had purposefully asked about Peggy's picture for a reason because she already knew. Of course. She was the founding member of SHIELD alongside Howard, everyone had to know who she was... But the idea still stuck in his brain.

"She was the head alongside Stark," he pointed out. "Why leave her alone?"

"Steve," pleaded Natasha one last time to which Steve ignored.

Zola chuckled, creating another sheet of paper to appear on the screen. "We didn't," he smirked, zooming in and panning across the obvious death notice on the screen. And that was when all of the blood in Steve's body went cold.

"No," he shook his head. "She's not dead. I visit her every week and we - we talk and - she was not killed off during a mission. This is made up."

"Steve!"

Steve's head flipped back around to glare at Natasha's, ready to deal out a hushing tone for later. But he was taken aback instantly by the complete look of sadness and guilt on her face. Something definitely wasn't right. What had happened.

"He's right," the red-head whispered softly as if she didn't want to tell the story. And frankly, she didn't. "Peggy's gone."

"Then who-"

Natasha shook her head again. "When you came to prior to the Battle of New York, Fury agreed to keep her death from you. It was something that we all agreed that you would not take easily. So we created a scene for you. An actress. A plot line..." She trailed off, unable to say anymore.

Steve didn't say anything for several heartbeats. All of this... was a lie? None of it was real. She was fake, just an actress fed by old lines. He clenched and unclenched his fists, breathing in and out heavily. Why was this all about secrets?

"You knew," he hissed to Natasha. This was definitely getting worse. She could only throw him another apologetic glance before the computerized doctor spoke up again. Honestly, Steve couldn't concentrate. He still had to take down whenever was left and he had a mission to fulfill.

Natasha looked as if she was about to cry and yet, for all Steve knew, it was an act. Just like always. Suddenly, his entire life became one big question. "Fury thought it was best..."

Steve didn't answer, simply turned back to Zola with his teeth clenched. This was just yet another reason why he needed to find this Winter Soldier and her bosses. She was just an assassin, but she could lead him to the source and he could end HYDRA where it lay. Biting his cheek, he held back the words he truly wanted to say.

Truthfully, he barely paid any attention when Zola kept on talking. The words passed through one ear and right out the other. He had gotten the information that Fury had found out about. SHIELD and HYDRA were one and the same. And they killed anyone who stood in their way. Including Peggy.

He wasn't sure who to be more furious at. HYDRA itself for taking these people away or Fury for keeping Peggy's death a secret.

It had affected that much that he barely noticed when Natasha announced that SHIELD had fired a missile upon them. He merely sprung into action like the soldier he was, feeling like it was second nature, and dove into the grates below, making sure to keep Natasha and himself under the shield and safe.

He barely even noticed as the fires of betrayal rained down on top of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHHH NOOO IS PEGGY REALLY DEAD? :O
> 
> I just had way too much caffeine sooooo you know the drill: kudos, comment, cookies. :D thank you to everyone who has done so already! *throws cookies in your mouths* This quick update is for you guys!


	6. Natasha

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha struggles to figure out how Steve is reacting to the information about Peggy that she was forced to share. Steve, on the same hand, tries to deal with the fact that SHIELD has lied to him, and that the love of his life is gone forever.

**Chapter Six**

Natasha honestly didn't think that Steve would save her. She, from the orders of others but still, had kept something from him that changed everything in his mind. She knew that it was the right choice during the Battle of New York but after discovering how he visited her every week... She should have said something. Knowing that now, she only hoped that Steve would be able to forgive her someday. She was just starting to realize their relationship, plutonic of course, and start to depend on him as a sort of friend.

But all of that was in jeopardy now.

He still saved you Romanoff, she told herself, shaking her head as she sat on a bed, drying her wet hair. After the bombing had passed, she was still startled and only half conscious from the smoke and ash. She had only recovered completely when they had reached Wilson's house, one of Steve's random friends... someone that they could actually trust around here. That in itself was becoming a rarity.

She hadn't seen either of them since she had collapsed in one of Wilson's spare rooms and her mind hadn't had time to truly process everything yet. She owed Steve big time and they both knew it. But of course, he wouldn't mention it again. That was one thing that infuriated Natasha about Steve. He was such a gentleman all the time... It was kind of hard to hate him.

She tried to imagine how it would feel to lose the one thing that kept her going when times got tough but she found herself not wanting to. She was already full of enough guilt. Teeming as she was, Natasha found herself angry with herself for not realizing the compromise of SHIELD sooner.

She grabbed her phone, not even thinking about the consequences and shook her head, diving straight into the files that she had access to on her phone. At this point, she could care less if she had alerted the world with her SHIELD phone. She owed this to Steve.

She had already dug out the SHIELD tracker from the back of her neck and the phone itself so they wouldn't be so keen on finding her. A signal would still transmit and she knew that she had to be fast. Biting her lip, she scrolled through the files at top speed, looking for something - anything really - that could help her. She froze, saving a few files directly to her phone and printing them on their host's printer, hoping he didn't mind. If this helped regain Steve's trust, it was worth the risk. After what happened with Peggy... She didn't want him to lose another friend too, if that was what they considered each other.

She barely finished when she sighed, clutching the towel to her still dripping hair from her shower. This was going to be a long day and she knew it.

Steve walked in, emerging from the main room in a muscle tank and clutching sheets of paper. He seemed to be rifling through them while holding back his emotions like he had released earlier. He had learned his lesson the hard way. Biting her lip, she watched as he sat down on the edge of her bed and shook his head gently. "So I suppose these are self-explanatory," he said softly.

Natasha shook her head right back at him. "I have no idea," she confessed. "It was the last thing that I did on this phone." To make her point, she pulled out her knife and stabbed it straight through the device, ending its life immediately. Bye bye signal. "I wanted to make it up to you somehow. I am not even sure of the entire story myself."

"You were just looking out for me," Steve said honestly although Natasha could tell by the look in his eye that he was holding back. He was too good of a guy to hold a grudge outwardly, and inwardly too but that was for later. "You only wanted to help me." He nodded which earned an eye roll from Natasha. He should not be thanking her... Making a face, she placed her hand on top of his gently.

"If you ever thank me again," she said sternly. "I probably will cut out your tongue." And they both knew she meant it.

It was a few moments of silence that passed before the steady flow of conversation passed between them once more. Almost like things were back to normal... Almost. Wilson appeared moments later and soon, a plan was struck. Steve was right. They had to take out this Winter Soldier before she did anymore damage. And she knew exactly how she was going to do that.


	7. Steve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve looks through Peggy's old files to find out more about her death, which abruptly ended in Moscow. The team heads to the causeway where they're met with another surprise visit by the Winter Soldier.

**Chapter Seven**

When Steve, Natasha and Sam had set off in Sam's black car, no one was truly expecting what was to occur. They had a mission, they had a plan, to uproot HYDRA from the bottom up and take down this Winter Solider before she got any further with her disastrous plans. She was just an assassin, that much was clear, but she was also a loose cannon. Whoever had hired her wouldn't let her go that easily. No, the Winter Soldier wouldn't be done for quite a long time.

And as it turned out, Steve and the others would be saying more of this Winter Soldier than they cared... and soon.

It started and ended on the causeway over the main hub of Washington DC. They tried to remain off the grid since SHIELD was most likely still after them - and wouldn't rest until they were dealt with - but they all were in agreement that things had to be done. It wasn't going to resolve itself and with Fury dead, they were the only ones left.

Steve spent the remainder of the morning after Sam and Natasha had created somewhat of a plan. They were off to retrieve Sam's military gear to get "back in the game" as he would say and that should have been no problem. Getting the Falcon's wings wasn't the problem, it was the distractions. After that had been settled, Steve took the rest of the time reading over the files Nat had printed out for him. They weren't just any files, they were files that he should have had access to a long time ago. They were classified information regarding the missions and eventual death of Margaret Carter.

Steve wasn't sure he wanted to read them, but he knew that he deserved the truth and at least one person around here was willing to give it to him. That brought up the total number of people that he trusted right now to a whopping two. And he was currently in the same house with both of them.

After becoming head of SHIELD, Peggy and Howard didn't give up the field either. Just because they were the founders didn't mean that they were about to retire. Peggy was the leader of many missions, which ultimately became her downfall. There were snippets about Howard, Maria and even Tony here and there but the bulk of the files involved one Agent Carter.

Steve read about the countless number of lives that she had saved, the conversations she had spoken with diplomats and high ranking members of the government, and the people who she had lost and gained. She had hired one Alexander Pierce to take over the company after her and Howard both retired which opened the door for Howard and Maria's death, angering Steve even further. HYDRA had always been there since the beginning and corrupting this business. It made him shake with anger to see all of her hard work become so evil.

And then, abruptly, the files stopped.

There was one last mission. Moscow, Russia. Peggy had noted that she suspected someone was targeting her and Howard in her earlier entries and that Howard and Maria's accidental death wasn't so accidental after all. She had become suspicious too and they had killed her as well.

"I'm beginning to think this extraction mission is not what it seems," wrote Peggy in her very last entry. "My team keeps giving me looks like they are afraid and I have never seen these agents afraid before. Something is seriously wrong."

The next line stated that Margaret Carter had died from blood loss due to a gunshot wound to the abdomen and a severed arm. It made Steve sick to his stomach.

He couldn't bring himself to read the files Fury drafted up and Natasha uncovered about how he managed to play it all out as a ruse. That part was still raw in his mind.

It was around that time that the others decided it was time to leave. And Steve found that decision to be a very good one.

And that is how they ended up driving down the causeway, unaware of their attacker until it was too late.

The footsteps on the roof of Sam's car came first. And then the metal arm crashing through the windshield. And then the wheel was ripping out of the vehicle.

It didn't take long for the Winter Soldier to appear and it seemed she had a new mission with new targets. Them.


	8. Natasha

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha devises a plan to take on the Winter Soldier, once and for all. She had hurt enough people, and the red-haired assassin wasn't going to take it lying down any longer. However, it is not as easy to take down someone with the same training.

**Chapter Eight**

The first thing that Natasha saw was the metal arm and she knew that they were screwed. She had taken Steve's word for it, everything that he had said about the Winter Soldier, and she had made her own deductions. But truthfully, it wasn't until she saw the agility and brute power behind this trained assassin that she knew how deep they had gotten themselves into.

The car spun out of control as the Winter Soldier grabbed their wheel and if it wasn't for Steve's quick thinking on propelling them out of the car, Natasha knew that they would have been dead in an instant. This was the assassin that killed Nick Fury among countless others. They would be child's play in comparison. There was no comparison. And yet, they still fought for their lives with every last breath that they took.

Sam tumbled away off of the car door as Natasha and Steve slid their way down the causeway. Shaking her head, she immediately scrambled to her feet and took off running. If they challenged the Winter Soldier and her army now, they would be sitting ducks and even easier targets. Their best bet was to split up and divide their enemies amongst them.

Natasha nodded the plan to the other two boys and dodged the bullets being fired at all of them. If they made it out of this alive, she was going to be damn surprised.

There was an exploding car that she used to her advantage to gain access to the roads now piling up below the causeway. She fired one of her latest contraptions at the car as it flipped over the overpass and landed with a rather large fireball on the ground below. Lucky shot.

Natasha swung down from the string she had fired at the car and retracted it back in, taking off in the other direction. Running and screaming at the pedestrians to get out of the way, she barely had enough time to glance over her shoulder. From the looks of things, her plan worked.

A bullet nearly took her down as it whizzed past her ear and she panicked for a moment, thinking it was all over. But then she saw the Winter Soldier trailing her and she knew that things were - most likely - falling into place. Well hopefully.

Wincing, Natasha quickly recorded herself through her comm device and left it behind a nearby car, simply waiting as she rounded a corner and lost sight of the Winter Soldier. She couldn't run anymore, neither of them could, she had to stay and fight. And she was going to fight until her very last breath.

She waited for several minutes as the rest of the civilians had cleared out and the Winter Soldier slowly approached. A grenade was prepared, meaning that the assassin had fallen for her tricks. Perfect. She waited a few moments more. She had to time it perfectly and from everything that she had learned over her training days, timing was key. She counted numbers in Russian under her breath to hold herself completely still.

And then the small ticking bomb exploded and she sprang into action.

Natasha had her legs wrapped around the Winter Soldier's neck in an instant, trying her hardest to keep a lock on her. To her disappointment, it didn't work as well as she thought. The assassin was stronger than she remembered and Natasha wasn't sure she was going to win this time. But she was going to do her damn hardest to try.

It was a few minutes before they separated from the spar and Natasha got her first up close look at the Winter Soldier herself. Her eyes were beautifully dark and heavily covered with some sort of charcoal looking powder to conceal her identity. Her clothes were perfectly fit to her body but they had that military look about them, suited perfectly for an assassin. Her long pin straight brown hair was pulled back in a ponytail, tight against her head. She was the perfect image of a hired hit woman. Natasha couldn't help but feel a bit jealous.

She was thrown to the side, wincing as her back smashed against the car. She got to her feet, shaking her head and instantly started running in the opposite direction as she caught a glimpse of the Winter Soldier preparing a machine gun in her direction.

One shot.

One shot was all it took and Natasha was sent sprawling against the nearest car, wincing in pain as the bullet tore through her shoulder. She was done for.

She faced her fate with open arms and prepared for the end to come as the Winter Soldier appeared around the front of the car, aiming directly at her.

But it never came.

Natasha barely knew what was happening before she pried open her eyes. Steve. Of course. He saved her again. She really did owe him way too much... and she hated debts. She didn't even know what had occurred until several minutes had passed. Hoping that he was still alive, she dragged herself to her feet, clutching her shoulder. "Steve?"

But he was preoccupied.

Somehow, he had managed to tear off the Winter Soldier's face mask. And he didn't like what he saw.

Her vision was blurred and she couldn't see the identity of the Winter Soldier yet. She was losing blood fast and she would lose consciousness soon, but all she could focus on was the pain written all over Steve's face.

And then, he said a name.

One single name.

And the last thought that crossed Natasha's mind before everything went black was how fucked up their world really was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHH WE'RE GETTING SO CLOSE TO THE REVEAL OF THE WINTER SOLDIER. Except if you haven't guessed it by now, then you're likely not paying close attention. Or you just don't care XD I'm hoping it's not the latter. Thank you again for all of your wonderful comments and kudos! *throws balloons stuffed with cookies at you all* Y'all are the best, I really love you:)


	9. Steve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve discovers the identity of the Winter Soldier, and the news that hits him will ruin him for the remainder of his life. It was high time to give up, give in to the mess that they had made, and he was debating doing just that, especially now that he knew the truth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY I SUCK. I HAVEN'T UPDATED IN SO LONG :(( I FEEL SO BAD WOW I SUCK. I HOPE THIS ONE MAKES UP FOR IT, FEEL FREE TO LET ME KNOW IF YOU LIKED IT :)) Y'ALL ARE THE BEST I LOVE YOU!

**Chapter Nine**

She was dead.

Steve saw the files, he saw the records, he saw the notes and death notice. She was supposed to be dead.  

And yet, here she was, standing in front of him, looking completely different than last time he saw her all of those years ago. But he knew without a doubt that it was her. 

"Peggy."

He didn't know what to say or what to do except stare at the woman that had once captured his heart. And still did. 

Her eyes were too dark, covered in black makeup and heavy set like she had been sleeping for decades. Her outfit was one of a modern day assassin soldier, not the 1940s garb that he was used to seeing her in. If he hadn't known any better, he would have mistaken her to be a man... Her hair was longer than he remembered, sleek and pin straight, pulled back in a ponytail. But the scariest part was the look on her face. One of complete confusion and determination. 

This wasn't the Peggy he knew and loved. 

"Who the hell is Peggy?" she hissed and his heart broke even further. 

Steve could hear the SHIELD agents approaching and the eyes of Sam and Natasha on him intently but he ignored them all. Tears pricked at the corners of his eyes and pain filled his entire body. 

There was an explosion but nothing could ever gain his attention. He blinked once and she was gone. 

"On your knees!" came the shouts from all around them but there was a loud silence, almost buzzing in his ears that drowned out everything else. He felt himself slowly collapsing to the ground but it didn't even feel like it was his body anymore. Everything was so numb and broken that he wasn't sure how much more he could take. He let his head hang to the ground as his eyes became unfocused and blank. 

"Drop the shield!" came the second command shouted at him and he obliged, but barely. Nothing was truly registering in his brain anymore and he had no idea what to do. Biting his lip, he held his ground and held his hands in the air. 

He could feel the SHIELD - no HYDRA - agents pushing their guns into the back of his head and making a large commotion behind him but if he died here and now, he wasn't sure if he would really care anymore. Everything was so screwed up anyway. 

He found out in the spam of 24 hours that Peggy was actually dead and not the woman he had been visiting for the past year, but was actually not dead and brainwashed to be this assassin that was trying to kill him. And she didn't remember him. She didn't remember anything. He could see the confusion and anger in her eyes between that moment that they had just shared and that simply broke his heart. He couldn't do this anymore. 

He was hauled to his feet and dragged into the back of the truck alongside Natasha and Sam. At least they were both still alive, but that good thought quickly went out of his head as he realized that it wouldn't be for long. They were dead. Their mission was failed. But if he had to die at anyone's hands, it was almost fitting. 

It was... poetic. And that disgusted him from the inside out. 

Not what they were planning and going to do to him... But what they had already done to her. His girl. His partner. His soldier. His Peggy. They had made her into something that he knew was far beyond anything that either of them expected. And that made him disgusted. 

No, it might have been poetic but he wasn't going to let her become this monster in vain. If they survived this, he was going to find her... and he was going to get her memories back. 

 


	10. Natasha

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha witnesses the horror that is unfolding around her, helpless to do anything as she can only watch. It's only then that she starts to put the pieces together, realizing how beyond her this really is.

**Chapter Ten**

Natasha barely felt the pain from the bullet lodged in her shoulder. She kept one hand clutched on her wound as she watched Steve's broken face. This couldn't be happening.

The shock that shone clear across her face wasn't something she could have faked. Nothing had surprised her more than this moment. The woman that she had idolized since she was a level one SHIELD agent was dead… except she wasn't.

She was brainwashed and had been standing right in front of her.

There was a hand on her bad shoulder, yanking her to her feet and over to Steve's side. He was slumped on the ground, staring at the shield that was lying in front of him and trying not to look as broken as he felt. But Natasha knew he was failing.

The pain was nothing compared to what he was feeling. She barely felt the tissues and muscles ripping themselves apart as the hand on her shoulder grew stronger.

There was a gun pressed to the back of Steve's head, but the red-haired assassin didn't put two and two together until she glanced up at the face. It was Rumlow.

Her facial expression darkened as she noticed the SHIELD agents surrounding the super soldier completely, ready to execute him. How…

Pierce.

Natasha narrowed her eyes just at the thought of him, squirming under her fellow agent's hand. How would they just believe the former director on a whim? How would they just up and betray their country blindly? The questions would never be answered.

In another moment, Sam Wilson was pulled to her side, putting up a better fight than either she or Steve were. She bit her lip, shaking her head towards her new ally. It was over. There was no battle left to win.

They had lost, and they had lost to the worst person ever.

"Not here," Rumlow hissed, noticing for the first time the helicopters circling above them.

Natasha had to give a small smile, praising the press for the only time in her entire life. Maybe it wasn't hopeless after all.

But as the remaining SHIELD agents dragged the three of them into a nearby black truck, she let out the sigh she was holding in. She was injured and bleeding out, her lifespan decreasing in front of her eyes. Sam was squirming under the grasp of the agents, refusing to give up. If he didn't stop, they were going to shoot him in front of both of their eyes. Steve, on the complete other hand, looked like he had seen a ghost. And he had. They both had.

There was no going back from this.

It was the end.


	11. Maria

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maria hatches a plan to save Steve and Natasha before HYDRA finds the opportunity to end their existence, taking matters into her own hands.

**Chapter Eleven**

When Maria first joined SHIELD, she wasn't expecting to lose her job. She expected to live a long-ish life in the agency. She expected to serve her duty. She expected to die in the line of duty, dying doing the one thing that she knew how to do best: how to be an agent.

So when the day came that HYDRA was revealed to be sucking the life out from SHIELD from the beginning, Maria did the only thing that she knew how to do. She fought.

She followed Fury's exact instructions, including shedding tears over his supposed death, even staying close to Agent Sitwell, knowing from the beginning how crooked he had been. She had tried her hardest to keep her head, keep herself in check during the time where she had to pretend to strongest, and yet, she was the most terrified she had ever been. She was the deputy director of SHIELD, she should have been the one to take over the agency, and yet, here she was, watching and waiting for Pierce to strike as the new head.

She wasn't sure how much more she could take.

So when Maria discovered that Rumlow was heading out beside the Winter Soldier, the terrorist that killed Fury, to end Steve's life, she knew exactly what she had to do.

She had to sneak into the mission – because, of course, they wouldn't let her go themselves – as an unnamed agent. But there was one thing she had to do before she masked herself in a helmet and tactical gear. The HYDRA agents wouldn't hesitate to kill Steve and anyone working at his side in public. But they wouldn't risk exposing themselves to the world.

She dialed the number she was looking for quickly, constantly glancing over her shoulder to make sure that no one heard her conversation.

"Hello? Channel Two."

"Yes, I'd like to give a tip that there's going to be an… event today."

"An event?"

"Yes, a spontaneous event that I think would be most beneficial for news to cover."

"And why would that be, Miss… Miss.."

"You don't need to know my name. The event covers cancer awareness, and it would be a nice piece of news to wash away the disasters you constantly show. Oh, and send a helicopter."

"Miss-"

But Maria had already hung up the phone.

Sitting in the truck, just waiting for the right moment, just watching them torture Steve, torture the man… It was the most painful thing she had ever experienced in her entire life.

So when given the chance, she pulled out the taser and disposed of the remaining HYDRA agents in the truck. Her only regret was that Rumlow wasn't in the truck himself.

She would never forget the look of gratitude on Steve's face when she pulled off her helmet. And she would never forget the way that she breathed out a sigh of relief.

It was time for them to see Fury.


	12. Fury

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fury realizes how much danger the team is in and helps to devise a plan, much to Steve's dismay, to take down HYDRA for good.

**Chapter Twelve**

When Maria first brought Steve, Natasha and their newest comrade in the building where he was being kept, Fury's first thought was that they were growing stronger. But then he saw the look on Steve's face. And he knew that all hope was lost.

Maria shot him a glance that clearly said to give the super soldier space. He didn't press on her requests, knowing how protective she felt of Steve to begin with… something that could prove to be a situation in the future. However, for today, he knew he had to trust her.

Steve could barely take one look at him, and he knew that more pressing events were about to unfold. Maria guided Natasha over to Fury's side who gave him a clear look of disbelief, her body still tense with the shock. Fury had a feeling that being shot through the shoulder wasn't the only shock that she was dealing with.

"How-" Natasha tried to say, but she cut herself off, the words never fully forming from her lips.

The other man quickly introduced himself as Sam Wilson, to which Natasha backed up his integrity. Fury had a feeling that Steve would have said more if he wasn't leaning against a nearby wall for support like it was the only thing he had left.

Maria continued to patch up Natasha's shoulder as they both continued to stare into nothingness. Fury heaved a long sigh, getting to his feet and heading over to Steve's side, placing a hand on his shoulder. To his dismay, nonetheless, Steve shrugged it off easily, stepping away from the former director.

"This is your fault," he snapped under his breath, shaking his head. He glanced over Fury's shoulder to make sure that no one else was listening in. "If you had been paying more attention-"

"I would realized that my closest friend was heading up HYDRA," Fury replied sarcastically, raising an eyebrow towards the super soldier. This conversation was not happening.

Steve shook his head again, still processing the events that occurred not long ago. "No," he protested. "She was dead. You were dead. And now, look at this, the both of you are very much alive. First, you try and convince me that the woman that I loved was standing right in front of me every time I visited that nursing home. And then, I find out from a computer, a computer, that it was all a lie set up by you, of all people. And now, she's the Winter Soldier that tried to kill you and us both today. So please, don't say that you understand or that you tried your hardest to solve this problem."

Steve shook his head and disappeared into the room next door. Fury, on the other hand, simply stood there, taking in the accusations and truthful statements thrown in his face. He could take the hint that he wasn't wanted.

Fury only sighed, running his hands over the top of his bald head. He glanced back to where Natasha, Sam and Maria were plotting some sort of strategy for the future, to win this battle with HYDRA with the remaining true agents they had left. However, even Fury was beginning to give up. They could be as persistent as they wanted, but if they didn't have Steve, they were lost. At least Fury could admit that much.

If Peggy Carter really was the Winter Soldier, then there was no way to win this war.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone who's been reading this and enjoying it as much as I do! Now that it's officially summer, I hope to be updating more frequently now. I love all of you so much for sticking with this story!! Cookies for all of you!


	13. Sam

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam tries to comfort Steve about the loss of his girl, rather the discovery of what his girl had become. Together, he and Steve help Natasha, Maria and Fury to form a plan to take down HYDRA once and for all.

**Chapter Thirteen**

Sam followed Steve outside as he stormed away, clearly upset by the day's earlier events. He had no idea what could be hurting the super soldier so deeply, but he knew that it was nothing to be laughing at. From what he could gather, this was big, so big that the organization that his comrades had worked so hard to protect was crumbling at their feet.

He may have been a person standing on the sidelines, jumping in to assist whenever necessary, but he had come too far to let his new partners down. This was something that they all should be concerned with.

He leaned against the balcony, staring at Steve's face as he continued to absorb all of the information that had been thrown in his face over the past twelve hours. This man standing in front of him was not the man that he first met, full of patriotism and optimism. This man standing in front of him was broken and alone.

Steve didn't say a word, and Sam didn't bring up the topic either. It was something that the super soldier had to work out on his own, but he wanted to show his friend that he was here for him. No matter what, they had come too far for anything else. And that was the only thing on Sam's mind currently.

They stood like that for several minutes before Sam knew that it was time.

"She's just a girl," was the first thing he said. Harsh as it was, it was the truth, and his job was to smack enough sense into Steve to make him work again. Even if it was only for another day.

Steve glanced over at him, his eyes unfocused. "You know that's not true," he replied, shaking his head.

"Everyone is just a person," Sam sighed. "I know what she means to you, but you cannot hole yourself up now. Not now. Not when everyone is counting on you-"

"I don't want everyone counting on me. Find another hero."

Apparently, he wasn't the best at pep talks.

He ran his hand over his head, grabbing Steve's shoulder and forcing him to look him in the eyes. "You can't change this," he said. "You said that you would do anything to see her one last time, so think about that. Fight for her. She isn't lost… she only is if you give up on her."

Steve stared at him for another solid minute, meeting his eyes for the first time since they both arrived on this makeshift bridge, before he nodded slowly. It was enough.

For now.

And when they rejoined the group recovering from inside, a plan had been formed. One that almost worked.


	14. Peggy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peggy tries to come to grips with what she was, not who she was. She was a thing, a machine, she was their playtoy. And she had a mission.

**Chapter Fourteen**

Broken.

Alone.

Confused.

She was broken. She was alone. She was confused.

She had no idea who she was or what she was meant to be, but only one thought filled her mind. To end the mission. To survive.

She had survived this far, and she wasn't going to stop now.

He had approached her with a smile, telling her that she had one last mission to complete and then she would be rewarded. She would be rewarded for compliance.

Kill Captain America.

She had to kill Captain America in order to accept her reward.

She had killed before, but this was different. Her brain was resisting.

No, there was no resistance.

There was only death.

She was broken.

When she broke through the smoke again, she couldn't find him. There was the red-head with more guns than she could count. There was the one with wings. But they could be easily disposed of. They weren't the target. They were only accessories.

It wasn't them that was her mission.

He was her mission.

There.

She wasn't alone. She wasn't going to be alone. Until she pulled the trigger.

She knew how it felt. She didn't want to know, but she knew. She didn't crave it anymore. She needed it.

She needed the pain.

She needed the sorrow.

She needed to complete the mission.

So close.


	15. Steve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha had no plans to die today. Sam had no plans to die today. Maria had no plans to die today. But each of them was willing to die for his cause, for Steve's girl.
> 
> And Steve was not going to let that happen.

**Chapter Fifteen**

Natasha had no plans to die today. Sam had no plans to die today. Maria had no plans to die today. But each of them was willing to die for his cause, for Steve's girl.

And Steve was not going to let that happen.

From the moment that he made it onto SHIELD's – well HYDRA's – headquarters, breaking into his own home, he knew that the plan was doomed. He was the distraction. He was the liability. And he was going to draw attention to himself, and only himself.

The speech that he made, thanks to Sam and Maria, was just that.

He knew that it would draw Pierce's attention. In a few moments, he knew that Rumlow and the rest of the HYDRA agents would be swarming the place, looking for him. That was Maria's job to take care of.

Sam had said that he would take care of the Winter Soldier… of _her_. To keep her preoccupied while Steve put the chips into place to take down the Helicarriers before they caused more destruction than they were worth. But Steve wasn't on board with that.

The Winter Soldier was his situation. He promised that he would make their date and here he was. He was living up to his promise, finally.

He was going to have that dance.

The first two chips weren't the problem. It was when Steve doubled back for the last remaining chip in the last remaining Helicarrier that he saw her, truly. It wasn't a glimpse from afar. He saw that there was no hope of what she used to be. And yet, he wasn't going to give up. He couldn't give up because that meant he was losing a piece of himself right along with her.

"Peggy," he tried to say before Sam intervened.

In what seemed like seconds, Sam was down. And it was just the two of them.

"Please don't make me do this."

She did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GODS I'M REALLY SORRY. IT'S SUMMER AND I SUCK AT UPDATING. I'M REALLY SORRY.  
> also - I'm also sorry that I'm leaving for college on August 28th and I'm going to try my hardest to update as soon as I can. seriously, I mean it. but for the rest of this month, I'm all yours... hopefully. I really suck, I'm sorry.
> 
> LET'S ENJOY THIS CHAPTER, OKAY.


	16. Peggy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peggy finally realizes what she has to do when it comes to the matter of the man she was hired to kill. She has to end it.

****

Peggy wasn’t sure how she got to the point where she was in this moment.  She wasn’t sure of anything except that she was ordered to kill the man standing before her.  He was standing there, begging her not to fight him.  She was supposed to feel enraged by this, but it only brought back fuzzed memories.

She knew this man.

And she still attacked him.

She tried to counteract the feelings deep inside of her, but her program in her head was just too tough to break through.  She had to take him down, which was exactly what she did.

He was withering underneath her fists, her eyes growing more desperate and crazed by the minute.  She wanted to protect him, to save him from herself, except she physically couldn’t… and it was killing her from the inside out.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, surprisingly herself at the words.  She had no idea where that even emerged from.

The man below her, the one that called himself Captain America, glanced up at her in shock as well.  Except she landed another punch to his cheek before he could stop her.  She had to take him down, and that was all that mattered.

Unless it wasn’t.

She took a step back, the wires in her brain going haywire.  She had to stop this madness.  She had to stop this destruction before it got any worse.  This wasn’t her, this wasn’t what she was raised to be, this wasn’t even what she wanted to be.  She was a shell of what her mind used to be, and she finally knew it.

She knew him.  She knew herself.

And the pair still fell over the edge of the crashing ship and into the waters below.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AH, I'm such a horrible person for keeping you waiting for so long. I'm literally the worst. I thought going to college would be better for me, give me more time to update, but it's literally such the opposite. I can't promise anything anymore because I end up doing just the opposite. But I'm here when I can be, and that's all anyone can ask for right? I love you all so much and thanks for reading friends:)


	17. Steve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve wakes up in the hospital and makes it his mission to go after Peggy. Because as long as she saved him, there was hope.

When Steve came to, he found himself in the hospital.  All he remembered was saying a single phrase: I’m sorry. 

He knew that there was no going back from whatever this had been.  He knew that this was the end of the line, and yet, she had been there.  She had spared his life.  And for that reason alone, he knew that there was hope.

Hope was alive in the mind of Steve Rogers because he knew that he would never give up on his girl.  He would never give up fighting for her, or whatever was left of Peggy Carter.  Because if he did, then hope was lost.  Hope could never be lost as long as he was still alive.

He didn’t let the doctors fuss over him for long.  With his enhanced healing due to the serum, he was able to fix whatever broken bones and bruises he had been given easily.  It was all internal, and he knew that he had to keep moving.  Because he wasn’t going to find Peggy by standing still.

He would never give up on her, and he would find her. 

Because as long as she saved him, as long as he loved her, there would always be hope for the future.

And there was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS IT. WE HAVE FINALLY REACHED THE END. ARE YOU SO PROUD.
> 
> Thank you for all of your continued love and support on this quick drabble novel. I hope you enjoyed yourselves! Keep favoriting and leaving comments, I love it all. Thank you thank you thank you. This novel would not have happened without all of you. I love you my pretties!


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